If He Comes Back
by midnight-whisper3
Summary: In the process of being rewritten, will continue Inspired somewhat by Faith's Stealing Kisses. Syaoran hasn't been the same since that fateful day. Sakura can't take it anymore. SS? AU. Characters may be OOC. Please R & R.


_Disclaimer: _Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP  
_Song: _Stealing Kisses - Faith Hill

* * *

"_It's late enough;  
all your kids should be home."  
The policeman says  
as he takes your beer for his own.  
You remember,   
wondering what his wife thought  
about his occupation  
He knows that you were just chasing a dream  
to the town line and back and over again  
so he winks at your girls  
and tells you all "I'll see you later"_

Sakura sighed as she picked up the last empty bottle. She stretched and yawned. Finally, after a long day she could relax. After throwing it out, she turned on the kettle and sat down. She stretched her legs and rested her head on her arms closing her eyes.

It had been another long day at work. She was tired of always picking up after the other girls in the office. They just loved to slack off and she being who she is did all their work. In the end she got no recognition and went home without anyone thanking her.

Her friends had told her to not take that garbage and she should just have Eriol fire them. Those girls were just using her of course. It wasn't that she didn't know that, far from that really. They made it disgustingly obvious when they begged but she just couldn't. The word 'no' just wouldn't escape her lips. In the end she always ended up doing more work than she had to.

The kettle finally whistled and she slowly got up. She opened the cupboard and took out her favourite lilac mug and the tea bag. Steam made its way up as she poured the boiling water. Sakura placed it on the table and grabbed a piece from last night's cake.

She smiled to herself remembering the surprise and shock at finding all her friends. She had been so busy she'd completely forgotten her own birthday. It was a great surprise party. She felt old though, it was another year. She smiled wistfully. He would've been four.

She sighed and placed the half eaten cake down. Syaoran hadn't been there, of course. He was working late, important meeting with the boss and everything. At least, that's what she told herself. She didn't want to believe he had been out with his friends again. She didn't want to believe he had been drinking again. She ignored the fact that he hadn't forgotten.

Life just wasn't what it use to be.

…

Sakura looked over at the clock again. _4:45._ Just fifteen minutes left and she could go home. She nervously thought about the dinner she still had to make and then remembered he probably wouldn't be home on time anyways. Still, just in case, she should have everything ready for dinner. If he didn't show up on time she'd wrap it up nicely so he could eat it when he arrived home.

She looked back at the computer screen and looked over the document she was working on. It took only a few minutes to correct it and save. She looked at the clock again, the black minute hand pointing only slightly over the golden 10. She sighed again, frustrated. Her heart beating faster as the seconds passed, all she wanted was to get home.

Wasting time she slowly logged off her computer, determined not to look at the clock, and started to gather her papers. People were walking around outside handing in last minute papers and finishing up their columns. A knock at the door shook her from her thoughts.

"Come in," she answered.

A man, tall and well built walked in at her command. He ran his hand through his midnight blue hair and half smiled. He held a bunch of papers in his other hand.

"Sakura-san, I know it's late but I need you to check over these columns."

"Just leave them on my desk I'll check them tomorrow." She said as she threw away the remains of her lunch. Eriol sighed and shook his head.

"We're running behind with Tachibana's article. She's staying to finish it so we can have it ready by tonight."

Sakura stared helplessly for a few moments before giving in. She took the papers and sat back down at her desk. He smiled apologetically. "He wouldn't be home anyways Sakura."

She looked up at his serious tone. Resolutely she looked back down at the sheet before her. "Today could be different," she said without much conviction.

"He called me last night; he's heading to see Yamazaki after work." He said quietly.

Sakura ignored the fact that _he _called Eriol and not herself, his wife. She could feel the burning of tears at the back of her eyes. She blinked furiously, covering her eyes by pretending to be reading. He took the hint and slowly made his way out the office.

"Sorry Sakura," he whispered as he closed the door shut behind him.

She stared at the page, not really reading what was in front of her. After a minute or so she relaxed her grip and set down the papers. She sighed again and looked back to the clock, shoulders slumped. She was going to be home late today. Dinner would be late again.

The clock read _5:05. _

…

_I was stealing kisses from a boy  
now I'm begging affection from a man  
in my house dress,  
don't you know who I am,  
don't you know who I am.  
Standing in your kitchen._

Turning the page she was startled out of her book as the phone rang. Sakura looked over at the phone and saw the familiar number. She smiled and picked up on the forth ring. A teasing voice sounded on the other side.

"Don't you love me Sakura? We've been together since we we're in diapers and you pick up on the forth ring! Really now, what's with young people these days?"

She chuckled lightly, placing the book down on her bed. "Can't you ever say hello like normal people?"

"Well that's no fun. Anyways, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow. You get off later right? So I can pick you up when I'm done with my meeting."

"I'm not sure Tomoyo-chan, I mean, it's late and I don't want to cause too much trouble." Sakura explained hastily. Truth was, though she loved her friend dearly she just didn't want to be around others. When she was home it was the only time she could really have time to herself without anyone breathing down her neck.

"Oh come on! I haven't seen you in ages!" She decided not to point out that it was only two days ago that they last saw each other.

"Well…I…umm, okay. Seven then?" Sakura finally agreed. She couldn't say no.

"Yep! I'll see you tomorrow then! And don't worry, it's Friday, you get Saturday off right?"

"Yeah," They continued to talk and after what probably was almost 3 hours Sakura decided to call it a night. She bid her friend goodbye and hung up.

She got up from her bed and took a quick shower. She sighed contently as the hot water touched her stressed body. She loved taking showers. It was like she was washing everything from the day down the drain. In a few minutes she stepped out and dressed into her night clothing which consisted of undergarments and a long t-shirt reaching just above her knees.

Spring was slowing washing away and she could feel the air getting warmer with each day. Opening the window she took a deep breath of night air. The moon shone brightly while the stars faded away with the city lights. She longed to return to the country side again, but her job kept her from leaving.

Leaving the window open a crack she made her way to bed. For a moment she glanced over at the empty opposite side and slumped a bit. He wouldn't be home until late. He'd take a shower and go straight to bed without a word, even if she was awake. She'd long since given up on waiting for him.

It was a bit chilly getting under at first but soon she snuggled and warmed up under the covers. The book lay open beside her and she picked it up again. She continued from where she left off before Tomoyo's call.

…Eriol danced full of papers in his hands… Sakura tried to stop Yamasaki from drinking anymore water. She was telling him it was bad for his health but he wouldn't listen... Tomoyo stood in the background drinking tea and talking on the phone with someone…

Sakura was again startled. She had been reading and must've dozed off. When she looked around she noticed her book laying on the ground and realised it must've been the thump that had awoken her.

It was two in the morning and as she was about to turn off the light she heard footsteps coming closer. She paused and listened. They stopped at her door and she held her breath for a second. It couldn't be a burglar…

Syaoran opened the door and walked inside. She let go of the breath she was holding. He glanced at her direction for a split second before making his way to the washroom, shutting the door behind him.

It happened in only a few moments but she didn't need much to see. He, of course, had been drinking again, more than usual. His usually messy hair was messier than ever sticking up in every which direction. But his eyes gave it away. They were normally an intense brown, full of passion and kindness but his eyes changed whenever he brought a bottle to his lips.

They were darker, full of secrets and hidden pain. Red rimmed the edges and dark circles were forming under his eyes. He had looked utterly exhausted and lost. She felt a deep pang in her heart. She couldn't- didn't want to believe how much things had really changed since that fateful day.

Placing the book back on her night table she waited for him to come back out. They needed to talk, instead of this avoiding each other. She was, frankly, tired of it. She didn't have to wait long as he emerged shirtless and in boxer pants.

She waited for him to get into bed before she began, nervously. "Syaoran honey?"

He grunted. She took that as a sign that he was at least listening. She continued, taking a deep breath. "Syaoran, we need to talk…about us." She whispered.

"Nothin' to talk 'bout," his voice was deep but slightly slurred.

"Yes, yes Syaoran we need to talk." She said again.

After what felt like an eternity he turned over to face her. He stared at her for a moment before frowning slightly and answering, "We can talk tomorrow." He was about to turn over again when she stopped him. He frowned impatiently at her. Obviously he wanted to go to sleep but she was determined. Now that she finally got this far she wasn't about to let the chance slip away.

"It's already tomorrow and besides I won't see you anyways. I have to go to work early and you come back home late everyday."

"I don't want to talk," he said impatiently.

"Well I do and we have to. Look, this is actually what I'm trying to talk about. Syaoran, we don't see each other anymore. Things have changed since…since…" She could feel the tears again fighting for release.

His frown deepened and he sat up. She could smell the alcohol on his breath and almost gagged. "Nothin' has changed! That happened a long time ago and it's not worth talkin' 'bout now! "

She stared at him in surprise shock. His eyes widened slightly realising what he had just said but otherwise he remained calm as if nothing had happened.

He didn't just…no, he couldn't have…Was he implying that the accident was nothing to him? Obviously it couldn't be, otherwise he wouldn't be drinking and coming home later everyday. Sakura suddenly felt furious, a monster within her fighting to come out.

With as much self control as she could muster, she slowly spoke in a dangerous tone, "Fine, if you prefer not to speak about us or the accident that killed our son then I won't push you."

She threw the covers from her and slipped out of the bed. Grabbing her book and pillow she made her way to the door turning back to Syaoran before opening it. She saw his look of faint surprise and felt a bit of satisfaction.

"I'll sleep in the spare room tonight and for dinner I'll be with Tomoyo. Don't expect dinner to be ready when you get home. Please let me know when you're ready to finally talk." She softened her voice a little, "Goodnight Syaoran."

Turning around she opened the door and without even a glance back closed it behind her.

…

_It's late enough;  
your husband's dinner is cold.  
So you wrap it up and leave it for him on the stove.  
It's probably the traffic again,  
another important meeting.  
You haven't talked to an adult all day,  
'cept for your neighbor who drives you crazy.  
When he finally gets in,  
he's sure not in the mood for talkin'._

"I'm here Sakura," Tomoyo's voice sounded through out the small office. Papers were scattered everywhere on the large desk and room. A barely eaten sandwich proved that the occupant hadn't eaten lunch. Sakura was typing furiously, fingers flying and frowning in deep concentration. She hadn't even realized Tomoyo's entrance. All she was thinking about was finishing her job.

"Sakura, what happened in here? It's almost as if there was a tornado of papers. It's so stuffy in here, why don't you open the window before we both suffocate?" Tomoyo quickly made her way to open the window, walking carefully as not to step on the fallen sheets when she realized Sakura wasn't even pay attention. She opened the window and stepped out of the way as a light breeze entered the office.

Sakura shivered as it hit her back and she seemed to snap out of her thoughts. She whipped her head around and just noticed Tomoyo standing with her arms crossed. She had her dark hair tied up in an elegant bun and wore a suit, showing off her perfect form. Her thin eyebrows coming together in a disapproving frown.

Sakura rubbed her eyes and smiled sheepishly. She turned around as Tomoyo made her way back to the door. Sakura yawned and stretched her arms over her head. "Hmm, what time is it?"

"It's 7:30. I waited outside for you but didn't come out. After half an hour of waiting I came in and found you lost to the real world." She answered, not really angry.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must've lost track of time. So much work to do today," She shook her head but suddenly winced. Tomoyo noticed and narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Have you eaten today at all Sakura?" She asked.

"Oh, yes I had a sandwich." Sakura said vaguely. Her eyes were scanning over the computer screen again. Tomoyo looked over at the almost whole lunch on her desk. The sandwich looked to only have been nibbled on and her coffee was full to the rim. It was unusual for Sakura not to have eaten. She normally ate every meal of the day. It couldn't have been stress neither as Sakura left her coffee untouched. Tomoyo didn't like this one bit.

"I'll be done in a few minutes Tomoyo-chan." She said, her eyes never leaving the screen or her fingers the keyboard. Tomoyo nodded slightly, knowing she wasn't even paying attention.

She sat gracefully onto the other chair and just looked around the office, lost in thought. She knew Sakura well enough to know that something was definitely up. She was undeniably a hard worker but whenever something was wrong she always drowned herself in work. Something was up and she was going to find out, though she had an idea already. She only wanted to confirm what she suspected.

For a while now, she'd been acting more distant. She avoided any get-togethers with other friends and the last time she remembered seeing Syaoran with her was at the funeral. She hoped her suspicions were false, but couldn't get rid of the feeling that she hit the bull's eye.

"Tomoyo-chan, I'm ready to go now." She looked up to see Sakura raise her bag over her shoulder and grab her coat. The window had been shut securely and the lunch cleared off her desk. She smiled and Tomoyo got up and followed her out.

They met Eriol outside. He smiled warmly at Tomoyo and gave her a kiss. Sakura seemed to hide in the shadows looking anywhere but at the couple who were now kissing so passionately. She felt another pang in her heart. When was the last time Syaoran had kissed her..?

"I'll see you later tonight honey." Tomoyo winked suggestively at Eriol who looked like a love struck fool. Sakura smiled wistfully as she followed Tomoyo out the door.

_I was stealing kisses from a boy  
now I'm begging affection from a man  
in my house dress,  
don't you know who I am,  
don't you know who I am.  
I'm standing in your kitchen._

…

The restaurant was dimly lit. Sakura could hear the clinking of forks and knives as people talked. The place wasn't full but had enough people inside to create the illusion. She hadn't been in here for years; she was surprised at how much hadn't changed. _I guess some things don't change_… she thought.

As Tomoyo ordered she looked out the window, remembering the last time she had been in here. Syaoran had taken her here for a surprise date. They had such a wonderful night that Sakura couldn't believe it was only going to get better. She had noticed he was always nervously checking his pocket as though making sure he didn't lose anything.

She didn't think much of it but it wouldn't leave her mind. After a night of laughing, talking and sweet nothings he had walked over to her chair and knelt on one knee. She instantly understood what he was planning to do. She gasped as he took out a small black box and opened it to reveal a simple but beautiful silver ring. A pink jewel twinkled as if smiling.

"Sakura, will you do the honor of marrying me?" He asked a hopeful smile on his face. She was so overwhelmed that tears had leaked from her eyes. People in the restaurant all held their breath as they waited for her response.

Not trusting her voice she slowly nodded and he beamed. He took her smaller hand and slid the ring through her finger, a perfect fit. She embraced him tightly, crying tears of joy in his chest while people cheered and congratulated them.

Sakura didn't realise the small smile spreading on her face as she remembered that magical night. Then, just as quickly, it turned into a frown. Memories of arguments and misunderstandings resurfaced as well. Their marriage wasn't perfect but she had never regretted it. She loved him and knew that she always would.

Yet, after the accident, he slowly broke away from her and she didn't know if he felt the same anymore. Again she could feel tears burning to be released but she fought against them. She didn't want to ruin her night with Tomoyo.

Suddenly remembering where she was, she looked over to her friend. She found her staring at her oddly, thoughtful and worried. Sakura flushed and lowered her eyes. Tomoyo cleared her throat.

"Did I tell you? We made a deal with Matsumoto's company . Now I'll be able to show my clothing line to the world!" She said excitedly. Sakura was now determined than ever to avoid ruining Tomoyo's dinner. She grinned and congratulated her as she explained everything that had occurred in the meeting only a few hours ago.

They had a normal dinner, talking and sharing work stories. Sakura avoided talking about her home and personal life. She didn't want to burden her friend. Every few minutes when they were silent she'd start wondering what Syaoran was doing and hoped he had something to eat.

It had been an hour when Tomoyo couldn't take it anymore. "Sakura, you haven't touched your food." Sakura looked down to her full plate. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just had a big lunch." She stopped a waiter while he was walking pass them. She asked him if he could so kindly pack her meal so she could take it home. He agreed and took her plate.

"Sakura, can I ask you something personal?"

Sakura's heart skipped for a moment and she slowly nodded, "Yes," Her voice was unusually high.

"When was the last time you and Syaoran, you know, made love?" Tomoyo asked seriously. Sakura's emerald eyes widen and she felt herself blushing furiously.

"Uh…I –well, we…you see…" She was speechless. The truth was it had been so long ago that it hadn't really crossed her mind anymore. "Almost two years." She mumbled quietly.

"Two years!" Tomoyo gasped, truly surprised. "But you two are still so young, I mean, two years is an awfully long time."

Sakura didn't meet her eyes. She knew that she was right. "You still love each other don't you?" Tomoyo asked, again serious.

"I-I don't know anymore Tomoyo…" Sakura wanted to cry. Her fear had suddenly hit her as if saying it aloud broke a spell. Did Syaoran even love her anymore? Was he only with her because he thought he _should_ be? Was a promise rather than love keeping them together? Was the ring around her finger the only thing she had left of a love she once knew? She had tried so long to ignore it, but now as the truth hit her she couldn't stop the tears.

When the waiter returned Tomoyo quickly paid and together they left the restaurant with people giving them curious and worried looks as they made their way out. Tomoyo drove them to her house while Sakura tried to control her tears. They made it in ten minutes. Tomoyo parked in the driveway outside her house.

"Sakura, what's going on?" She asked, very concerned for her friend. Oh why didn't she realise nor do something sooner. She couldn't believe her friend had been suffering for so long alone. She felt anger towards Syaoran as she watched Sakura vainly try to stop crying.

"He doesn't come home anymore; he's always out drinking with his friends. After what happened to our son he changed. I don't know him anymore Tomoyo. He's a stranger to me." She stared at her tightly clasped hands.

"I know it's painful, but it was almost two years ago. Your son wouldn't want you two to completely lose yourselves." Tomoyo said softly.

"I know. That's why I've tried to move on. But Syaoran is still two years back. He doesn't want to accept what has happened." Her knuckles were now turning white.

Tomoyo took her hands gently and made her look at her. "Sakura, have you tried talking to him?"

"Last night, but he had been drinking so I didn't want to upset him too much. Whenever I try to bring up the subject he changes it or avoids it altogether. He doesn't want to move on and because of that it's put a strain on our marriage."

"I think it's time you confront him. You're too scared about fighting and losing him that you're not realising that you're keeping him from moving on. Don't take it the wrong way, because I know it's hard to talk about, but that's what both of you need to do. You can't run away forever.

"Either he gets his act together and moves on or I think it's time you move out for a while." Sakura's eyes widened at her words.

"I can't leave-" she began, but was cut off.

"-You have no other choice, he's keeping you from really being happy. If you love him you have to let him go, if he comes back he's yours."

Sakura sighed. Tomoyo was right. She would have to talk to him, tonight.

_And hours become days,  
days become years.  
And you could burn down this town  
if they made matches from fear.  
Cause you're no worse off than anybody else.  
Hey, don't you even know  
don't you even know yourself?_

Sakura thanked Tomoyo as she dropped her off at her house. Tomoyo promised to be back in the morning, giving Sakura time to pack. She droved off and Sakura watched long after the car had vanished from sight.

She didn't know if she could really go through their plan. She didn't want to leave him, but she knew it was best for her. She smiled slightly; Tomoyo really was a great friend. She would forever be grateful for having her in her life.

With a deep breath she turned around and walked into her house.

The lights were off and she let out a sigh of relief. Maybe she wouldn't see him… Her moment of relief was short lived as a deep voice broke through her thoughts.

"Why are you home so late?" Syaoran asked. Sakura slowly looked up into his eyes. They were angry but something else was there … it couldn't be, concern, could it? Sakura knew there was no escape this time. It was now or never. She had hoped to just leave with a note but obviously someone was against her.

"Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing when you come home every night at three in the morning?"

He looked at her, anger rising. She suddenly realised he'd been drinking again.

"What I do is none of your business." He took a step closer.

She instinctively took a step back but stopped half way. No, she wasn't going to let him win. She stood, full height, daring him to continue. Fear washed over her but she held her ground.

"Oh really? I thought as _your wife_, what you do every night, was _my_ business," Before he could interrupt her she continued feeling more confident. "But if it isn't, as you seem to think then what I do is none of your business."

He stared at her for a long while, unblinking. She held her ground.

"Syaoran, I'm leaving." Sakura announced suddenly.

His eyes widened considerably. She smirked, so unlike her but she finally felt as if she got through to him some how.

"No you're not." He said dangerously.

"Yes I am, and you can't stop me. I have been faithful to you all these years but I'm tired of getting nothing in return. You have done nothing but avoid me ever since the funeral. You've become a drunkard and … and …" She felt her voice wavering, "I don't know if you even love me anymore…" She whispered.

He looked at her, silently.

"Syaoran, is this the only thing keeping us together?" She held up her hand, showing him her ring finger, the golden band hugging her finger snugly. Yet, this last bit of proof was the only fragment she had of their love.

He stayed silent. She knew his answer long before he finally spoke. "Yes."

She felt the walls around her crumble and her heart break into a million unrecognizable pieces. She let her tears out, no longer fighting them back. He bowed his head as she ran pass him upstairs.

Furiously, she packed her clothing and things, throwing them into the suitcase. Tears were blinding her but she didn't care anymore. As she closed the case she noticed something lying at her feet. Curious, she picked up a broken frame.

A golden frame surrounded an old picture of three smiling figures. She dropped to her knees the picture in hand. Covering her mouth with her other hand she broke down and sobbed.

She cried for those days long ago where she actually felt happiness. Those years so long ago that she felt never happened. Memories were the only thing she had left anymore of those days. Memories that were soon to fade away and become like old films that haven't been seen in years.

She cried until she had no more tears to shed.

_So you're standing outside your high school doors.  
The ones you walked through 20 years before,  
and you whisper to all the girls:  
"run, run, oh, run"_

* * *

Long I know, but the conclusion is yet to come. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, so it can help me improve. Please R & R and I hope you enjoyed reading this. It's hardly my best work, but it's up to my readers in the end. 


End file.
